My five favorites from five categories.
Gordon Jr.: Why’s he running, Dad?
Gordon: Because we have to chase him.
Gordon Jr.: But he didn’t do anything wrong.
Gordon: Because he’s the hero Gotham deserves. But not the one it needs right now. And so we’ll hunt him. Because he can take it. Because he’s not our hero. He’s a silent guardian. A watchful protector. A dark knight.
Westley: ‘To the pain’ means that the first thing you lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists, next your nose.
Humperdink: I killed you too quickly last time, a mistake I don’t intend to duplicate tonight.
Westley: I wasn’t finished! The next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by your right.
Humperdink: And then my ears, I understand, let’s get on with it!
Westley: WRONG! Your ears you keep, and I’ll tell you why: so that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish; every babe that weeps at your approach; every woman who cries out, ‘Dear God! What is that thing?’ will echo in your perfect ears. That is what ‘to the pain’ means; it means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery, forever.”
William Wallace: Sons of Scotland! I am William Wallace.
Young Soldier: William Wallace is seven feet tall!
William Wallace: Yes, I’ve heard. Kills men by the hundreds. And if HE were here, he’d consume the English with fireballs from his eyes, and bolts of lightning from his arse.
[Scottish army laughs]
William Wallace: I am William Wallace! And I see a whole army of my countrymen, here in defiance of tyranny. You’ve come to fight as free men… and free men you are. What will you do with that freedom? Will you fight?
Veteran: Fight? Against that? No! We will run. And we will live.
William Wallace: Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you’ll live… at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin’ to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take… OUR FREEDOM!
[Scottish army cheers]
William Wallace: Alba gu bràth!
[Creed has a drink in a bar after killing Silver Fox]
Bartender: You’re not from around here, are you?
Victor Creed: [carving a smiley face into the table] What gave me away?
Logan: [outside, having tracked Creed down] VICTOR!
Victor Creed: [to the bartender] You got insurance on this place?
Bartender: Insurance? No.
Victor Creed: Too bad…
[Logan crashes into the bar]
Victor Creed: Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in.
Bartender: Guys, whatever this is, take it outside.
Logan: I wanna know why!
Victor Creed: Why? You don’t call. You don’t write. How else am I supposed to get your attention?
[They charge at each other]
President: We didn’t see this thing coming?
Dan: Well, our object collision budget’s a million dollars. That allows us to track about 3% of the sky, and beg’n your pardon sir, but it’s a big-ass sky.
1) The Count of Monte Cristo
“Oh, yes,” replied the count; “understand me, I would fight a duel for a trifle, for an insult, for a blow; and the more so that, thanks to my skill in all bodily exercises, and the indifference to danger I have gradually acquired, I should be almost certain to kill my man. Oh, I would fight for such a cause; but in return for a slow, profound, eternal torture, I would give back the same, were it possible; an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, as the Orientalists say, — our masters in everything, — those favored creatures who have formed for themselves a life of dreams and a paradise of realities.”
“Judges,” he said, “there can be but one verdict. No longer may John Carter be Prince of Helium”–he paused–“but instead let him be Jeddak of Jeddaks, Warlord of Barsoom!”
As the thirty-one judges sprang to their feet with drawn and upraised swords in unanimous concurrence in the verdict, the storm broke throughout the length and breadth and height of that mighty building until I thought the roof would fall from the thunder of the mad shouting.
Now, at last, I saw the grim humor of the method they had adopted to do me this great honor, but that there was any hoax in the reality of the title they had conferred upon me was readily disproved by the sincerity of the congratulations that were heaped upon me by the judges first and then the nobles.
“Not enough info makes for a lot of dead cats.”
“You know, ‘Curiosity killed the cat.’ And I have enough curiosity to start a feline genocide.”
“Yeah. If you don’t explain Apollo, the cat kingdom will crumble. Cats all over the world will suddenly plop down in unmoving masses of fur, their food will dry up in smelly chunks of fish, and when people call, ‘Here, kitty kitty kitty,’ no cats will come running; they’ll just-” Walter suddenly stopped.
“What’s wrong?” Ashley asked.
Walter stared straight ahead. “I just realized . . . if all those things happened, no one would notice the difference.”
For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much – the wheel, New York, wars and so on – whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man – for precisely the same reasons.
“What’s happening?” whispered Richard.
“Darkness is happening,” said the leather woman very quietly. “Night is happening. All the nightmares that have come out when the sun goes down, since the cave times, when we huddled together in fear for safety and for warmth, are happening. Now,” she told them, “now is the time to be afraid of the dark.”
Dalek 1: The Dalek Stratagem nears completion. The fleet is almost ready. You will not intervene.
The Doctor: Oh, really? And why’s that?
Dalek 1: [glances at Rose] We have your associate. You will obey or she will be exterminated!
The Doctor: No.
[Pause. The Daleks glance at each other in confusion.]
Dalek 1: Explain yourself.The Doctor: I said no.
Dalek 1: What is the meaning of this negative?
The Doctor: It means no.
Dalek 1: But she will be destroyed!
The Doctor: No! ‘Cause this is what I’m gonna do: I’m gonna rescue her! I’m gonna save Rose Tyler from the middle of the Dalek fleet! And then I’m gonna save the Earth! And then, just to finish off, I’m gonna wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky!
Dalek 1: But you have no weapons! No defenses! No plan!
The Doctor: Yeah! And doesn’t that scare you to death? Rose?
Rose: Yes, Doctor?
The Doctor: I’m coming to get you.
Rose: I thought you and me were— Well, I obviously got it wrong. I’ve been to the year 5 billion, right, but this… Now, this is really seeing the future. You just leave us behind. Is that what you’re gonna do to me?
The Doctor: No. Not to you.
Rose: But Sarah Jane. You were that close to her once, and now you never even mention her. Why not?
The Doctor: I don’t age. I regenerate. But humans decay; you wither and you die. Imagine watching that happen to someone that you— [The Doctor breaks off]
Rose: What, Doctor?
The Doctor: You can spend the rest of your life with me, but I can’t spend the rest of mine with you. I have to live on. Alone. That’s the curse of the Time Lords.
The Doctor: C’mon, then! The Doctor will see you now!
Atraxi: [after scanning The Doctor] You are not of this world.
The Doctor: No but I’ve put a lot work into it.
Atraxi: Is this world important?
The Doctor: Important? What’s that mean, important? Six billion people live here, is that important? Here’s a better question: is this world a threat to the Atraxi? Oh come on, you’re monitoring the whole planet! Is this world a threat?
Atraxi: [after looking at a montage of world events] No.
The Doctor: Are the peoples of this world guilty of any crime by the laws of the Atraxi?
Atraxi: [after viewing another montage about earth] No.
The Doctor: Okay. One more, just one: is this world protected? [as the Atraxi views a montage of all the aliens who have attacked humanity in some way]
The Doctor: You’re not the first to have come here. Oh, there have been so many. And what you’ve got to ask is, what happened to them? [Atraxi looks at a montage of the past ten Doctors. The Doctor steps through the montage when the 10th Doctor is shown]
The Doctor: Hello. I’m the Doctor. Basically. Run.
2) Edmond Dantes
“I . . . have been taken by Satan into the highest mountain in the earth, and when there he . . . said he to me, ‘Child of earth, what wouldst thou have to make thee adore me?’ . . . I replied, ‘Listen . . . I wish to be Providence myself, for I feel that the most beautiful, noblest, most sublime thing in the world, is to recompense and punish.’”
“I do not believe that I am made of the stuff which constitutes heroes, because, in all of the hundreds of instances that my voluntary acts have placed me face to face with death, I cannot recall a single one where any alternative step to that I took occurred to me until many hours later.”
“But the reason is very obvious. The pressure of public opinion can do in the town what the law cannot accomplish. There is no lane so vile that the scream of a tortured child, or the thud of a drunkard’s blow, does not beget sympathy and indignation among the neighbours, and then the whole machinery of justice is ever so close that a word of complaint can set it going, and there is but a step between the crime and the dock. But look at these lonely houses, each in its own fields, filled for the most part with poor ignorant folk who know little of the law. Think of the deeds of hellish cruelty, the hidden wickedness which may go on, year in, year out, in such places, and none the wiser.”
Inigo Montoya: My father was slaughtered by a six-fingered man. He was a great swordmaker, my father. When the six-fingered man appeared and requested a special sword. My father took the job. He slaved a year before it was done.
[Shows the Man in Black the sword]
Man in Black: I’ve never seen its equal.
Inigo Montoya: The six-fingered man returned and demanded it, but at one tenth his promised price, my father refused. Without a word, the six-fingered man slashed him through the heart. I loved my father. So naturally, I challenged his murderer to a duel. I failed. The six-fingered man left me alive, but he gave me these.
[strokes the scars on his cheeks]
Man in Black: How old were you?
Inigo Montoya: I was eleven years old. And when I was strong enough, I dedicated my life to the study of fencing. So the next time we meet, I will not fail. I will go up to the six-fingered man and say, “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
1) Darth Vader
“Your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for… sister. So, you have a twin sister. Your feelings have now betrayed her, too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me. Now his failure is complete. If you will not turn to the Dark Side… then perhaps she will!”
“I’m sure you’ve discovered my deep and abiding interest in pain. Presently I’m writing the definitive work on the subject, so I want you to be totally honest with me on how the machine makes you feel.”
“You must be that little Spanish brat I taught a lesson to all those years ago. You’ve been chasing me your whole life only to fail now? I think that’s about the worst thing I’ve ever heard.
How marvelous. “
“And so it came to pass that the human race fell, and the Earth was no more. And I looked down upon my new dominion as Master of all; and I thought it good. ”
“Laser Screwdriver. Who’d have sonic? And the best part is he isn’t dead for long, I get to kill him again! “
“Do you want to know why I use a knife? Guns are too quick. You can’t savor all the… little emotions. In… you see, in their last moments, people show you who they really are. So in a way, I know your friends better than you ever did. Would you like to know which of them were cowards? ”
Batman: This city just showed you that it’s full of people ready to believe in good.
The Joker: Until their spirit breaks completely. Until they get a good look at the real Harvey Dent, and all the heroic things he’s done. You didn’t think I’d risk losing the battle for Gotham’s soul in a fistfight with you? No. You need an ace in the hole. Mine’s Harvey.
“I will conceal you and a handfold of your soldiers, lead you into Odin’s chambers… and you can slay him where he lies.”
1) Sean Connery
There’s one major difference between James Bond and me. He is able to sort out problems.
Being on Broadway is the modern equivalent of being a monk. I sleep a lot, eat a lot, and rest a lot.
In bed at night, I could be reading some book, and I’ll come across a sentence that’s totally unrelated to some scene I did years ago. But I’ll play the scene back in my mind and think, I did that wrong – I should’ve opened the door more slowly.
I don’t mind doing interviews. I don’t mind answering thoughtful questions. But I’m not thrilled about answering questions like, ‘If you were being mugged, and you had a lightsaber in one pocket and a whip in the other, which would you use?’
5) Cary Elwes
I take away something from every role. I’m still learning and that’s what life is about.